Time Flies

Well here I am again. Wondering how months have flown by without even an attempt to post a blog. How in the world do people keep up with social media… like juggle multiple platforms like a pro, blog, work and find time to have a social life and oh yes, the ever important self-care?

So, I am going to give this blog another shot. Why torture myself, you ask? I could just say, why not? Because I have a tendancy to be an over-achiever or so I am told. The truth, I used to write all of the time and I have a project in mind, so I need to dust off the cobwebs.

No way, I am telling you about this new project because it is a totally for me project. I may or may not share if and when I complete it. We will just have to see how it goes and then how I feel about it in the end. Support would be appreciated…even though you don’t know the project you can still send support that I am just me and pull off something outside of the box and crazy. You know, being my own brand of happy, crazy and entertaining.

So what to brief you on and how, with so many months and miles between us. Hmmm, so let’s go with opportunities that came out of no where, goals I set and achieved and tease you with the fact that I have a major announcement coming soon. The “act” has already come to fruition and it includes more than just me and makes the community service, teacher, and person who doesn’t take NO for an answer so unbelievable proud and happy. Surprised…not at all because I believe that everything can be accomplished if enough effort and heart are put into it. And we did and will continue to do so. Intrigued…I hope so because it is something beyond my wildest imagination. That says a lot!

Those opportunities I mentioned, came in the form of being the subject matter expert (criminologist, victimologist…) on multiple shows and a bunch of episodes for new shows on Oxygen. Mark of a Killer, Charmed to Death and a new show previewing in January are under my belt. Guess what, I liked. No, I loved it. It is something I never imagined doing. I get to bring attention to my school (Indian River State College), get my students to engage in their criminal justice studies, and made a bunch of amazing contacts and friends along the way. A lot of those have spoken with, been interviewed by, offered jobs to and given lectures to my students. That is the best part of the whole thing.

I spoke again this year at CrimeCon, and was joined by my podcast co-host PCubed (Pierre.) We are joined each year by more students and alumni. Watching them network, while I do the same is so much fun. How does the saying go, “It is amazing what you can accomplish when you don’t care who gets the credit?” We encourage them and then watch them fly. That is the teacher in both me and Pierre - making an impression on others so that they believe in themselves and reach for the stars. And that is where they belong.

If you wondering why I haven’t mentioned the podcast that is because I have a “day job” as well. As a criminal justice professor, it has been a crazy ride, with ups and downs, changes and challenges thanks to Covid and quite a few other forces to deal with. But fear not, P’s eye rolling will be returning soon and I have researched myself up one side and down the other to bring you new cases, entertain you as well, annoy PCubed which is always a favorite and most importantly bring the victims to life as they are who we should truly focus on.

Hmmmm, so much to do still tonight, so off I run. I hope you are glad to hear from me and get back on track following me and encouraging me to continue trying new things and reach for my own stars.

Glad to be back!

Dr. M

Reclaiming my Creativity and Finding My Peace

Just as most people will tell you, this pandemic has changed them. It may have been for the better by causing them to slow down and take care of themselves (slightly guilty) or maybe for the worse (guilty until recently.) I am an extreme extrovert, love to be busy, I am outside exploring something everyday and meeting and talking with anyone who has a story to tell. That part of my life got cut WAY back with this pandemic and I fought it. Why fight it….. because of course I wanted what I wanted! Have you learned nothing about me yet over these years?

Covid and the ever changing rules not only made me take Wine and Crime Virtual, it stopped guest lectures, prevented travel and forced me to teach more “inside the box” than I like or am used to AND my students had to adjust to me NOT being me as well.

Well those days are in the rear view mirror. Whether people are getting shots, feeling more comfortable and less anxious or have found ways to cope with this new world. I am NOT going back to being the OLD me but am moving on to be a BETTER me.

If you knew the OLD me then you know that I was a very empathetic person, put others first, was quite often misunderstood for things I would so or do and was so sensitive. Except when it would come to dealing with criminals of the worst kind. That I owned.

I still care about others but I am know learning self-care comes first. I am working on being more sympathetic than empathetic and those feelings that got hurt so easily….. those days are gone. All of this seemed to have come full circle within the last week. Honestly, this past year has been part of the lesson but as educated as I am, this lesson took a little longer to learn.

Last week, I went on my first real NON-WORKING vacation in more than a decade. I told very few people about it because I have learned that sometimes or actually most of the time keeping things to yourself causes less issues and misunderstands. Look at me finally becoming a grown-up!

I went to Sedona, AZ. A place I have never been but has been on my bucket-list for years. I went on my own and then met an old and very dear college friend out there who pretty much felt the same way as I did. We hiked, ate amazing food that was local and fresh. Watched NO tv or real radio even. We just talked and explored.

Serial killer, ehhh but heights oh heck no and snakes uhhh no! But on this trip I asked myself why? Why be afraid of the unknown and hold myself back from the amazing things out in this giant world. My whole life changed on one climb where my friend and I took different paths in the same canyon. Why? Because we had different issues and things we wanted to accomplish.

This girl who loves to dress up, wear heels that are super high (I come from a very short family so trust me you would be as tall as possible too! lol!) I am sure I will hear about that one and maintains her manicure and pedicure chose to climb a mountain by going off of the trail. Honestly, I didn’t see one or maybe I wasn’t meant to see it but I was going up that damn mountain to prove something to myself and no one else.

The mountain is roughly 5900 ft in elevation and within less than 100 ft from the top and with no trail, I hit this completely smooth wall with no real way to continue and the rattle that I heard or imagined kept my common sense in check. I was able to sit on this little ledge and record a video to my boss, my students, my husband and of course my son and his family. The OLD me would have seen NOT making it to the top as a failure but the NEW me looked at where I was and was never more amazed and proud of myself in my life. In that moment, I realized that could stop chasing so many things and just enjoy life. Do those crazy things IF I WANT to but not because I NEEDED to prove something to someone or anyone. I found my PEACE.

With that I also FOUND a professor, speaker, podcaster, writer and general fun person who IS ready to get back on the horse and have more fun doing things with and for myself, my family and my students than ever before.

Message to my students: You are amazing. You make my job NOT a job but something I LOVE trying to push boundaries for both me and you. Thank you for letting me go on this journey with you and realize that you can do anything!!!!! Just ask me and I will tell you - unless we hear a rattle!

Good luck to you all. Thank you for choosing IRSC as your academic home and I can’t wait to watch you climb and conquer your own mountain.

Dr. M