Another Amazing Experience

I am pretty decent at keeping secrets and I did …mmmm okay with this one. The only people I told were my closest friends because I was in shock about the opportunity, how quickly it came about and what in the world was I going to do about it.

As most people did, I met a ton of professional contacts while at CrimeCon in June. TV producers, network VPs, book publishers and the list just goes on and on. It was fascinating to think of the potential experiences that I could use to supplement my already amazing job…… what doors could open for my academic program, my students and of course myself?

I am not one to back away from something out of fear UNLESS it has something to do with heights or snakes! Uh and who could blame me for those? And at the rate my posse was pimping me out (no one got by our podcast table without a button, sticker, picture….something) it is no wonder that I met as many people as I did.

What I did not expect was to meet a VP from Oxygen Media who was interested in speaking with me and said that I would hear from someone. That was just cool to hear but did not expect anything to come of it.

WRONG! Two days after CrimeCon was over I was visiting my friends at the coffee bar when I received a call from NYC. IT WAS A PRODUCER FOR A TRUE CRIME SHOW ON OXYGEN!!!! #wth Of course, I acted professional and kept my cool….not sure how but I did. She was interested in the case that I had just presented on. The show she was calling about was filming an episode on this and wanted to see if I would be a fit as an expert on the episode?!? Did I already say #wth The initial interview went well and she said that I should expect a call from the episode’s field producer.

I walked back over to my friends and had no clue what just happened but I am pretty sure we celebrated with a glass of wine! What an awesome experience….. even if that’s all that came of it.

Well…. the next week I got the call I was told to expect. The field producer, Rachel was awesome. We talked. We clicked. She sent me contracts! Soooooo…..

YES, I signed and have an episode to my credit now. It will not air till the end of the year but I will make sure to share the details with everyone. The show? MARK OF A KILLER

As if it couldn’t get even weirder or cooler….. they asked me to film a second episode for the same show with a different killer. YEP…. did that too!

Anxious to see where this goes. Will this make me a better professor by opening new doors!?!

Total Rant and Brain Purge

So where am I? Of course I am sitting inside my favorite coffee bar. I would much rather be outside working but I have so much rambling around inside my head that I am too easily distracted by the beautiful weather, the squirrels in the tree, the dogs being walked down the sidewalk and the people lazily enjoying the morning… see what I mean? I need to be nestled on a private island where I would have limited distractions. Who am I kidding, I AM MY BIGGEST DISTRACTION!

It is just before noon and I can honestly say that I am caught up on the work needed for the courses I am teaching this semester. I have already seen two doctors for appointments that I have been putting off for months. Professional emails have been returned …. Dear Lord, getting organized and caught up so that I can tackle some of the amazing things that are coming my way has been a lot of work this morning!

I decided on my presentation for this month’s True Crime and a Glass of Wine event. This serial killer was presented to me and honestly I knew very little about him before I was asked some questions regarding him. WOW, weird and crazy. BUT I like a challenge and something different. A killer who screams, cries and begs sounds like someone I need to look into. My first impression when reading that … what a big baby or he’s a fake. Mmm, you and I shall both see. Well, at least those who come to True Crime night this month!

Ok, next piece of randomness…. things have been insanely busy since we came home from CrimeCon. Victims and people associated with cold cases have been reaching out looking for assistance. As a victimologist this makes me happy that people are willing to trust me with their most personal and intimate aspect of their life but it also makes me nervous. I am a professor by trade so working on cases outside of my own cold case institute seems a little “out of my lane.” BUT, I do want to honor and help in any way that I can. I have spoken with PCubed about this and I think what we have come up with isn- that we are going to dedicate an episode of our podcast (Murder and Mysteries with Massnick) to each case. We are in the process of reaching out to those who have asked for assistance as well as starting our own research on the cases. My thought is that we will discuss the facts of the case, interview family members and see how we can get the word out so that we can breath new life into the case.

Oh and in my spare time …..

I have been asked to write a book - not happening this year! Don’t even ask! Please don’t. I give in way to easily.

I have students coming to class even though class is over and they have graduated! AMAZING and yes, that I am doing. These GRADUATES are working on a case for the Institute for Cold Case Investigations (ICCI). So proud of this endeavor.

I have been approached with a couple of other amazing opportunities that will add credibility and name recognition which I think can only benefit myself, my school and most importantly my students.

That is all for now. If I give away too much PCubed will veto me and I can’t afford to tick him off!

Execution Day

As I get up this morning, my head is still a bit fuzzy and I exhale so deeply that I think my lungs might simply melt away. I am not excited nor nervous. I am not happy nor sad. I am simply ready…..

This is the last post I will publish till after my CrimeCon presentation in New Orleans on June 8th. I will continue to blog so that you may follow what happens today.

I will share how I feel about whatever unfolds. I will detail the entire day so that not only can you experience my journey but so that I may never forget any of it.

Give me the strength, courage and opportunity to see this experience through and to gather as much as possible to share with my students on how our system deals with such heinous crimes and how people truly feel at the moment justice is finally served….. 34 years later.

2 Days Remaining

Still no damn mail….

I didn't and don’t expect any more to come but I continually walk to the mailbox each day at work and check. Today, I even entertained myself by recording my walk to the mailbox just so my social media could share in my “hope” and frustration.

Thinking about it, maybe I am looking for ways to lighten up the mood surrounding this week. It does feel a little “heavy.” I am not really stressed per say but I live in a state of chronic stress so who knows. I am being peppered with questions from people who want to go to the prison with me. They seem excited by the process. I am definitely NOT excited about the process or the experience. I AM thankful for the opportunity.

I have others who just don’t understand and ask me why I would want to go through this. What do I hope to get out of this? If you are wondering the same thing, then let me try to explain it. I am looking for an opportunity to continue my own education and to grow professionally. I think one can only learn so much from a book and even from anecdotes. What do I hope to learn? Honestly? I don’t know what I don’t know.

Ah yes, and then there come the judgmental comments. I know that I personally am not everyone’s cup of tea. My questioning nature and need to continually explore and push boundaries, drives some crazy. I was a bit taken aback by the blunt or even rude comments being directed my way; however, I will offer them the one thing they are not offering me…. respect.

You don’t have to like what I am doing. You don’t even have to understand it. I would appreciate it though…. if you could just respect it.

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” 
― Benjamin Franklin

3 Days Remaining

So I woke up this morning to my phone blowing up with messages. “Have you seen that Bobby has a temporary stay till 7 pm tomorrow…. not a true stay but something about time for legal docs to be submitted and reviewed. I barely had the sleep out of my eyes. Definitely wasn’t out of bed yet and here comes Bobby….

This research that I started a year ago which includes my communication with Bobby Joe Long seems to have taken on a life of its own. But I guess the is how things feel when one is working outside of their comfort zone. I truly am forging a path for my own interest that I don’t have anyone to look to for guidance. What I do have are many friends and peers who are criminal justice professionals and are guiding me and keeping me grounded along the way.

Today one of those professionals is one of the owners of my favorite place to chill, hang out and work when I want to be creative - the coffee bar Blue Door. The owners are attorneys. William is a defense attorney so guess who I am going to drive crazy with a thousand questions? Most people think that criminal justice and the law are one and the same. That is soooo not true. I am a victimologist and criminologist so I stay in my lane…. I am NOT and never could be a lawyer.

4 Days Remaining

So today, I made my plans official and will leave on Wednesday evening or Thursday morning to head up to Florida State Prison. I have decided that I will be outside with both supporters and protestors of the death penalty during Bobby’s execution. As I continually write Bobby’s name in such a familiar fashion, I wonder if people will think that I am personally connected with him…. it does feel weird to refer to someone in such a casual way while not being in a relationship of any kind - be it friendship or not.

Let me clear this up for anyone who pays any attention to my mental and emotional ramblings here… I in no way consider Bobby a friend nor am I viewing this process from anything other than a professional perspective. Am I personally invested in the research? Absolutely, I don’t think I could call myself a victimologist if I wasn’t it.

Then why do I so effortlessly refer to Florida Inmate # 494041 as Bobby? Because I realize that he is a person just like everyone else. This person just happens to be part man and part monster.